Please note that this is mainverse! Every Alistair gets a verse of their own and things here are only true if they wish!
Short Version
It was important for me not to fall into the “Alistair blindly worships his vastly superior wife” trap because that I do not think is a good relationship.
A good relationshionship, I think, is when you adore someone for both their strengths and weaknesses because both of them are them.
It’s when you are able to help them be a better them by helping them when it comes to their weaknesses.
This is the thing that is so often forgotten I think. Love is not enough for a relationship to be a good one. A good relationship has to be a partnership.
One has to be able to give your partner something they need just by being yourself.
Consciously and subconsciously I made sure Alistair and Torania do this.
Let’s start with Torania.
Alistair can sooth her temper. He can make her laugh at even herself. His compassion is a bright light in a dark world. Torania is weak emotionally. The very way Alistair is amazingly strong. She feels ok breaking down to him unlike she does to anyone else. He has shown her that being strong is not always what she thought it was, that it’s ok to be “weak” at times. Alistair has softened her and helped her mature. He is not threatened by the fact that she is quite frankly a much better fighter than he is. He is one of the few people who can put his foot down when she is being too ridiculously stubborn about certain things. He makes her happy simply by doing things that are just so Alistair. That is what she loves him best for. She appreciates it when he says nice sweet romantic things to her. But thats not why she loves him. Lots of men could do that. It’s just by being naturally him that he lights up her world.
As for Alistair….
Torania never gets tired of complimenting him and telling him how amazing he is. This builds up his low self esteem. He may never believe the wonderful things she says about him. But she believes them and repeats them often enough that he does not have time to wonder if she might have changed her mind.
Also she needs him. Not for being king. Not for his birth. Not for his skills. but just for being him. For most of his life Alistair has been an unwanted burden. With the wardens he was no burden and he was wanted but they did not really truly need him. His templar abilities were helpful but that was not the same as being needed just for being Alistair, and that’s why Torania needs him. Just for being him.
Long Version
Torania has a vulnerable side despite all her cockiness and insane fighting skills. Mostly it’s emotional. If you asked her who the strongest person in the world was she would not answer herself. She would say Alistair.
After loosing most of her family Torania was numb. She hurt inside, though of course she did her best not to show it. Then she met Alistair and he made her laugh. then Ostagar came and Alistair lost everything. but to her surprise he started to make jokes again. He would do things she wondered, like some of the interactions with her dog, she wondered if he was doing it just to make her feel better. Alistair dragged them both through their grief with his own inner nature and Torania sees him as the strongest man in the world for that.
So Torania might be a better fighter, she might be a strong confident woman, but Alistair is her rock. Their relationship is not an uneven one.
Torania does not love Alistair the most when he’s saying those romantic things to her. (Though yes she does appreciate this.) She loves him best when he’s funny. She loves him best when he’s sarcastic. She loves him best when he’s witty. She loves him best when he’s just being Alistair. Anyone can spout traditional romantic lines. Only Alistair can be the compassionate, funny, earnest, strong yet gentle, man she fell in love with. Alistair is a gem to her. A man one in a million. She still can’t quite believe that the maker let something like this exist. Let alone find her. Let alone fall for her in return. Torania would do anything for Alistair. Her fierce loyalty gives her extra strength when he is threatened. She keeps no secrets. She does not coddle him. She treats him as she thinks he deserves. A partner.
Torania respects Alistair. That is also important in my mind. She sees the strengths in him many others ignore. Alistair is not a puppet to her. That would not be a healthy relationship. Alistair is able to do aspects of leadership she can’t like relate to the common people. They respect Torania but they would never really talk to her. Alistair however is good at putting them at ease. And Torania thinks Alistair is the strongest man in the world (For reasons above)
For his part Alistair is able to accept that his wife is quite simply a better fighter than he will ever be. He is ok with that and what is more It does not stop him from treating her like a woman. Little romantic gestures, Sweeping her off her feet. Showing her she is something to be cherished.
For his side Alistair lived most of his life being unwanted and later he is needed only for superficial things such as his templar abilities and his blood.
With Torania this is not the case as depicted in my drabble “Something Precious” Torania needs and adores Alistair just for being who he is. For someone like Alistair I think this would be very important. Torania tends to adore Alistair even for the things others call childish. He and Ferelden are her raison de’etre.
Torania is a Demiromantic Demisexual. As such falling for Alistair was also a bigstep in emotional growth for her because it was the first (and last) time she was ever physically attracted to anyone.
Relevant Drabbles:
Something Precious (Sometimes we find the things we long for in the most unlikely of places. *My fav drabble so far)
Natural Urges (Zevran speeds up Torania and Alistair’s romance)
Bed (a small collection of drabbles fluff smut and angst)
Brotherly Affection (Prompt: Alistair sees Torania and Fergus being intimate with each other and misunderstands.)
Heartblood (Another use for bloodmagic on the day Torania comes face to face with her worst fear. Loosing Alistair)
Night Talks (If Alistair never has his calling.)
